The harder it becomes 2

I really don’t know what to do with @%^$U^( anymore. I don’t want anyone to wait for me or rather wait in vain for someone who’s not worth waiting for. I think I blame myself. I just don’t remember anymore the times when things were normal and there was nothing extraordinary about what were happening. all i can say is that things are not working according to my plans. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially not this anyone. I treat her as any big sister would do., as any pal would do. But I guess something went wrong along the process. things got off track. Like how trains do when they’re derailed.

I just want that anyone to realize that I don’t want to be part of anyone else’s life. That I have no room for any other person in my heart and mind for I am one selfish @%%^&&*. i hate myself for doing things to people.

The harder it becomes 2

this is the 2nd time and by what is implied…it is but harder.

I’m no use for such situations. I am a useless piece of shit.

pardon the words.

Another thing though, stop hurting people whom you kinda, sort of $%^&^* coz u’ll end up dreaming and wishing that it didn’t happen and that it didn’t get harder.

A Purgatory

wow…

earlier we had a soccer practice at the admin field with Coach Erwin, janver,bilbz and me. We’ve done numerous (by this it would suggest it hurts kinda thing haha) headings/headers. It was really painful to the forehead and pimp sprouts…ewwwness.

anyway before that I woke up at 4 am and I sort of fell back to sleep. Then I had a dream

It was in the CSM like hallways. I was the first to take the test. Inside a room there was a counter where a lady stood, she gave me a piece of paper. Yup it was unreadable then all of a sudden images flashed before my very eyes. I was shrieking  to no end. just then it ended.

When it was my other batchmate’s turn, we were asked to go outside.

Three of the others went to explore the other rooms. They had the intention of qwatching what was happening inside the room we left. Just then, there inside the room they went to, there were three beds and also a tv. They were so curious that they turned the television on. and they were very happy to see that it was a video stream of what was happening inside the room we left. Then the videochanged: it was featuring the room itself but now witth three demons on the bed. It was horrifying

the harder it becomes 1

whew..looks like i’ve had tough months-no blogging and no social life-and what’s hurting is that my thesis sucks.i don’t like how things are going and i don’t mind changing direction now. i think i don’t have enough time to do the things i want to. i want to read books and digest the stories slowly but i don’t have leisure time to do so. there are a lot of upcoming exams and events and i don’t kn ow if i can still have a quiet time i so desire.

this is #1. i’m so overly stressed. hey my knee joints hurt. maybe i need to drink arthricin(–,)> it’s all because of soccer. it’s always on my mind especially now that i’m appointed captain. yeah, i love being captain and i love playing but what stops me are my knees. imagine me being old with my knees giving up on me. funny yeah. anyway, i can’t give up soccer now. i just need to push myself harder and harder until it becomes so hard my feet runs away from me.funny again yeah again.

this is #2. i am not taking things seriously. my face most of the time looks serious-whoa!no hitting below the belt man!-haha, but heed the fact that i’m not serious. i only appear serious yet i am blank, blank as the clear cloudless skies.how many skies there are?i don’t know except that when each looks up, one calls what is above sky, and so when we both look up, its skies.plural form yeah.

this is #3. hope this is the last one. no matter how negative or pessimist i sound, bear in mind that i’m never gonna give up. there ain’t no givin’ up on me honey, no matter what it takes or costs. haha..i’m as unstoppable as a beating heart and a rolling ball. i’m still playing and i’m gonna finish my thesis no matter what it takes and costs. a few pesosessss wont hurt.

 

good nyt april hope you don’t look too tired to make us think you’re getting along..haha..

The Dilemma of the Last Filipino: A Critical Reading

The Dilemma of the Last Filipino is an essay written by Hilarion M. Henares, Jr. This interestingly touches on much deeper themes regarding nationalism (I am eager of making this review since I’ve noticed how most Philippine Literature sources are not found in the internet).

 

maybe many people should read more on their own contemporary writers. For once let us love our own and learn to appreciate it.

Artist: Ne-Yo Song: Miss Independent

Yeah Yeah (9x)

Over India

I’m currently poring over my India report..it’s so boring that I feel so sleepy. Maybe because I still have to get up and go to cafes just to make one. I have an aching foot, I don’t want to walk.

Superstition: Losing a tooth in one’s dream

This is one of the most feared superstitions I’ve ever encountered. What wrong would it do if we believe in it? I really don’t know except that it purges fear in me like the effect that tragic plays do.

Alone

I had nothing much to do so I kept on watching DVD’s in the whole duration of my stay. If you want horror and thrill packed in one movie here’s a good movie to see….

I bet you’d not one moment to miss as the revelations unfold…

The Cello( Asian Horror Movie)

Lately I’ve been having fun watching Asian Horror Movies. These are just some of the sure hit movies made specially wonderful because of the whole new experience learned after watching each.

“The Cello”- This is a story about jealousy. Two best friends, I’m sorry I forgot their names because they were foreign names, one excelled over the other and the other one envied for being second best. I didn’t realize the twist at first, that made me so thrilled that I wanted to keep the film run faster. I almost cheated when I forwarded the scenes.Well, here goes, I thought that the one who lived was haunted by the envious friend turned ghost.. This ghost was after all the victim of her friend’s jealousy. I remembered feeling the emotion in this line: “I believe that friends are happy for what success the other gets.” In the accident that almost took their lives, she who was envy let go of her friend’s hand. Her friend fell into the rocks by the cliff. It’s such a sad friendship story and it all ended tragically for the one lived in guilt and was gotten killed also by vengeance. They were both good cello players but they did not blend in music and friendship. I hope that that never happens to anyone again.

I don’t have enough time, guess, I’d do another next time. Thanks.

Hancock: A Must-SEE movie!

wow.

I’m somewhat speechless from the movie I had seen last Tuesday. Whew. If you’ve never had a hung with Will Smith’s appeal. This movie will surely create a halo (uh-oh yup I think that’ll do) on your head… What that halo symbolically represents the lesson that the movie would induce (again pardon the word) morale from people. It isn’t about the terrific supernatural effects rather it’s about the love that stumbles over the characters as if there was no plot commanding the outcome.

Right now I’m starting to think about filing my other blog with movie reviews. You really can’t review movies you haven’t seen. so me I’ll do my best to watch good movies then appreciate them through blogs…

Hancock rocks!!!